The content of the article:
- Autohoroscope from 22 to 28 January
- Aries
- Taurus
- Twins
- Crayfish
- a lion
- Virgo
- scales
- Scorpion
- Sagittarius
- Capricorn
- Aquarius
- Fish
The situation on the roads in these January days is hectic, and that's putting it mildly. Drivers jump out of the wheelbarrows, and pedestrians run to the red traffic light in order to have time to buy ice cream. This is understandable, because this week is International Eskimo Day. And the traffic cops threw their rods into the nearby bushes to free their hands and enjoy a cold-sweet delicacy in chocolate glaze. In some places, a chauffeur with bruises can be seen - they must have argued which came forward: a popsicle or a stick. Well, iron horses have no need for treats, and cars happily catch snowflakes, wash them down with gasoline and look forward to an interesting journey.
Autohoroscope from 22 to 28 January
Aries
Aries, stars predict a fun and positive week, but there are also enough minuses - yes, yes, we are talking about annoying traffic jams. So do not drink a lot of fluids before the trip, suddenly a traffic jam will form where there are no toilets and bushes. And be careful on the zebras - there are a lot of drunk and reckless guys who celebrate Tatiana's day. Better to give a ride to poor students and treat them to soup from a thermos or rolls that are lying around in the glove compartment. And do not demand payment - well, why do you need a record book, or notebooks with synopses in higher mathematics? By the way, your iron girlfriend loves to listen to stories, and students will put so many noodles on your ears that you can open a Chinese restaurant.
Taurus
Taurus, throw all the trash out of the cabin, empty the trunk and get ready to meet unusual fellow travelers. Behind every bush and every turn there are beautiful and frozen brides and grooms. In fact, no crime, because this week in January marks the day on which Mendelssohn's march was officially recognized. Ask: why do you need an empty trunk? You will put witnesses there so that they do not get underfoot and do not interfere with the newlywed passengers. And do not turn on loud wedding music, suddenly your emotional four-wheeled girlfriend will fall in love with a police officer UAZ and will start to slow down near every traffic police post, looking for her chosen one.
Twins
Gemini, January is coming to an end, but winter is in full swing, so the chauffeurs have no time for jokes. The Ministry of Emergency Situations also throws menacing messages and advises you to stay at home and not go outside unnecessarily. Someone may listen to these recommendations, but not your restless four-wheeled friend - a car and a day can not live without road adventures. By the way, at the end of the week the people celebrate the day "Nina - rituals of the cattle", and take care of horses, cows and sheep. This is a reason to pamper your iron horse, buy beautiful warm seat covers, clean up the stall and call the neighbour's cats to deal with the insolent garage mice.
Crayfish
Cancers, new routes are, of course, great, but the stars advise you to move along familiar routes. At least this January week, you don't need to go where the bulldozer wasn't rolling and the traffic cop wasn't standing. Your iron horse has no desire to slip in a snowdrift or nervously beat with hooves, trying to warm up in a hundred-kilometer traffic jam. And by the way, get ready for the fun roads on Sunday - restless red-eyed bipeds roam everywhere, not understanding where and why they are going. Give a lift to the poor fellows and explain that on an international day without the Internet, it is best to walk in the woods, and not look for adventure on busy trails. Although virtually addicted will prefer to bang their head on the computer.
A lion
Leo, are you ready for adventure? Then buckle up, pour valerian for the passengers and go - towards new road experiences. But remember about the high-speed mode, because the traffic cops have stocked up with ultra-precise radars and are waiting, they will not wait for inattentive and dashing rich victims to appear on the horizon. Guys in unfamiliar uniforms comfortably settled down next to the patrol boys. These are customs officers who celebrate their professional international holiday. Just in case, throw the pickles out of the trunk, they will suddenly start trying food in the hope of finding contraband hallucinogenic mushrooms or something else fun (they don't like the car when strangers touch it).
Virgo
Virgo, the stars have long suspected that your car has supernatural abilities, and this winter week, the guesses will be confirmed. In bad weather, the car does not start, as if an invisible road forecaster is mounted inside it, and an iron horse generally smells the traffic cops a mile away and immediately forgets about the love of speed and begins to portray a retired turtle. All in all, trust your four-wheeled friend and she won't let you down. To enhance the effect, throw a cat on the back seat - this January Friday people celebrate Yermilov's day and observe the behavior of tailed animals (suddenly the fluffy will tell you where the nearest gas station with inexpensive fuel is).
Scales
Libra, your sign chauffeur will be traveling first class this week. Even if you decide to take a tram ride, the trip will be comfortable. Passengers will give way, the conductor will not take money for travel, and the controller will generally smile and treat you to a cookie. True, the machine will not forgive if you leave it in the garage - the iron friend has a fear of an enclosed space. Quickly jump into the driver's seat and hit the road. And slow down next to the guys in leather coats - these are not spies, but Vysotsky's fans. They represent Gleb Zheglov and celebrate the birthday of Vladimir Semyonovich. Well at least they don't do exercises in shorts to the song "Morning Gymnastics".
Scorpion
Scorpions, guess the riddle: strong, cool and reliable, just a road champion - of course, we are talking about your iron horse. The car looks like a picture this week - do cars have their own Fashion Sentence, or does the four-wheeled friend become its own stylist? Do not worry if at every kilometer you are slowed down by agitated traffic cops - they are not out of malice, but purely out of curiosity. But do not sign autographs, otherwise you will spoil your car, you will still start to be capricious and demand the most expensive gasoline. You can just write a poem about the hard service of the patrol guys - write it down on a piece of paper, at the same time mark the Day of Hand Writing (yes, there is such a holiday).
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, the stars noticed that the traffic cops rarely work alone and constantly clump together. This is explained quite simply, because the patrol boys hate being alone, maybe that's why they stop everyone in a row, dreaming of a good conversation in good company. True, in these January days, the guys from the traffic police are on a hungry dry ration, because there is no one to find fault with. All the drivers seem to have conspired to celebrate the day of the Brake and are trudging at a snail's speed (although officially such a holiday does not seem to exist). But there is Grandfather's Day, and instead of old women, dressed-up grandfathers dance on zebras (and let this event be celebrated in Poland, our old people are no worse than Poles).
Capricorn
Capricorns, these January days your car will be called the car of the week. Of course, you can't keep up with you, just don't arrange a competition with the traffic cops, they are always right. But in the competition for the most patient machine, your horse will definitely win. In traffic jams, the iron friend stands like a idol and does not even frown - learn to be calm and do not irritate the rest of the drivers with loud signals.And when you meet people with brooms and basins, do not twist your finger at your temple, but move after them. The guys decided to celebrate Filippov's day and take a steam bath. You can arrange water procedures for a four-wheeled comrade - why torment your pet and wait for the onset of spring?
Aquarius
Aquarius, the car this January week behaves surprisingly quietly and calmly - maybe the iron friend realized that it is easier to obey than to show character? Take advantage of the situation and finally turn on the music that you like, and not your four-wheeled whim. Turn it up louder so as not to hear the abuse of nervous drivers and the notation of evil traffic cops. If a patrol accidentally slows you down, do not get lost, but get a bucket of popcorn out of the glove compartment - and enjoy the performance, and have a snack, and celebrate the birthday of popcorn (by the way, in the 16th century, Mexicans used to decorate their hair with food). But do not litter in the cabin - your neat horse hates dirt.
Fish
Fish, the wind is blowing, the blizzard is angry, but the typewriter still can't sleep - the iron comrade is eager to fight this week and is ready to ride day and night. We'll have to look for a compromise, because the eyes and hands need rest. There is an option that helps to fight sleep, however, traffic cops can get scared when they see a driver with matches in his eyes. For greater effect, sing to the patrol guys a revolutionary song about the hostile Whirlwinds that are blowing over us - maybe they will go crazy and stop penalizing drivers for minor offenses. If they are indignant, let them know that Wednesday is the birthday of the Soviet academician Gleb Krzhizhanovsky, who wrote the words for Varshavyanka while in Siberian exile.
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